The reality is that Christian Singles who are interested in marriage and commitment require more Dating advice when it comes to potentially meeting and forming a relationship moving forward.
When you start dating a good looking guy, the attraction builds. What do you do? It's difficult to decide when passion is playing it's part. It's important that you decide what your boundaries are before you go on the date.
1. Boundaries Around Your Emotional Intimacy
Dating can be precarious because you are more than friends but less than spouses and the status of your relationship can change at any moment because dating comes with limited commitment levels. The more commitment there is the more emotional connectivity there should be. Emotional bonds without commitment is what leads to broken hearts. You should not share everything with your boyfriend or girlfriend because the highest levels of commitment are not yet there. You should share what you need to share to accomplish the goals of dating and no more.
2. You Should Have Boundaries Around Talking About Your Futures Together
Just like your emotions, planning for the future together in your Christian dating experience should coincide wit increased levels of commitment. The more commitment the two of you make, the more it makes sense to talk about the future. Conversations about emotional, future-centered topics need to happen once the relationship starts getting "medium" to "very" on the serious scale. But if you are in the "not that serious" zone and you are talking about how the two of you are going to divide up the holidays with your families once you get married 10 years from now, you are playing with fire.
3. Boundaries Around Your Expectations In Christian Dating Will Help Your Heart Stay Healthy
One of the fun parts about dating is the hope it often brings. Hope is a joyful expectation of something good. While our hope should ultimately be in Jesus Christ, there should be healthy levels of hope for a dating relationship to progress into marriage. If there is no hope in a dating relationship, why would you be in it? It brings immense joy when two people date and then have their "desire fulfilled" if they decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together. But on the flip side, the unfulfilled hope of a dating relationship turning into a breakup rather than a marriage can make a heart sick. You should put boundaries around your expectations and hopes in your Christian dating relationship. Don't rush in with astronomically high hopes. Ask God to give you healthy and realistic levels. To guard your heart, you need to make sure your levels of hope are appropriate for the season your Christian Dating Relationship is actually in.
4. Boundaries Around Your Sexuality in Christian Dating Are a Must
This one should be high on your list of Christian dating boundaries. Sexual boundaries are what most people think of first because it's probably the easiest temptation to fall into. How far is too far? What are you allowed to do in dating? Is kissing okay? What about spooning? So the Bible does not give us a list of sexual boundaries we are not to cross in Christian dating. Rather, again, it gives us two big categories we are to stay within:
- Sexual experiences away from your spouse are sin.
- Sexual experiences with your spouse are good.
5. In Christian Dating You Need Boundaries for Your Words and Promises
One thing that's just too important not to mention is boundaries for your words and promises. When Christians abstain from sexual sin, the desire to connect through words is going to be even more intense. But just like the rest of these categories, you must balance your commitment levels with the levels you are connecting at. Guard what you say if you want to guard your heart. Don't tell someone you love them and then not commit to them. Of course there are different levels to love. But if you say "I love you" to someone you are romantically involved with, you are going to awaken all kinds of things that should really only be awakened for those intending to marry.
These are some boundaries to consider in Christian Dating.
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