Sunday, 30 June 2019

Practical Advice for Christian Dating

Christians often have a hard time meeting other eligible single Christians because of their limited avenue for dating. The only people that these Christians face are other Christians that are in the same worship service as they are. Even then, eligibility becomes an issue and choices are limited. There are some Christian singles who contemplate in dating people of other denominations but this option is not an exacting solution too. This is the main reason why various Christian groups utilized the Internet in providing the area for making their members meet one another. There are many Christian dating websites that are present today and while most of these websites maintain a good deal of professionalism, it is still best to play safe and heed Christian dating advice.

CLICK HERE TO START CHRISTIAN DATING

One very important dating advice for Christian people is to never reveal too much about oneself, especially personal information. As much as possible, it is recommended to stay anonymous until such a time that one is truly comfortable with the person he or she is corresponding with. The harmful consequences of giving out one's personal information is beyond the dating sites control, so it is better to be safe than sorry.  Not succumbing to pressure is another valuable Christian dating advice. An individual should not feel pressured to meet someone personally if he or she is not ready to do so. Other forms of contact may be initiated but the personal meeting should only take place when both parties are comfortable in doing so. Phone calls can be one way to get to know the person better before going out to meet him/her.

As an added dating advice, personal meetings, in the event that it happens, must be agreed to be in a public place. This way both parties are kept safe from possible harm. It is a fact that sometimes people who do online dating are pretentious people and have ulterior motives in joining dating sites. There is also nothing wrong with bringing a friend or family member along and if this is not possible, these people should be provided with all the information related to the meeting such as the place and time. A thing to note when going out for a personal meeting is to have a personal transportation so that in the event that the date goes bad, one can leave the scene immediately.

CLICK HERE TO START CHRISTIAN DATING


Christians, like all people, must consider dating to be a fun and safe way of meeting people. But with online dating, one can never be too sure. Harm can be prevented though if the Christian member is wary about the information given to him or her especially those that are inconsistent. Undesirable traits that are observed during the online dating process should also be noted because no matter how irresistible the member is, bad attitude will prove to be a problem. If Christians searching for other single Christians will take note of the Christian dating advice that is given here, dating will not only be fun and entertaining but will also be a very pleasant experience.

Monday, 17 June 2019

No-Fail Strategies You can use for Christian Dating

If you're a Christian single and considering joining a Christian dating service online or offline, there are a number of things to think about. Christian dating services are rapidly flourishing on the online dating scene today; more and more Christians are finding true love or friendship easily and often it's free. Be willing to be open to meeting new people, providing you meet in a safe place of course.

Christian singles who belong to church singles groups can also meet fellow Christians online at many Christian sites. Some Christian personals and dating websites even offer email, instant messaging, discussion boards, and mingling areas.
Many of the Christian dating services online have a million registered users or more. Call some of the largest Christian churches in the biggest city closest to you or your city if it's not a small one and see if they have any singles groups that meet weekly; if so, find out the name of the contact person and ask if they can recommend an online or offline Christian dating service. And it's fairly easy to find Black Christian, Christian seniors and Christian single parent dating services and matchmaking websites online.

There are many single parent Christian dating groups offline too. Be aware that some dating
service testimonials online that you can't verify may be from paid actors. Quite a few websites, which offer dating services to Christian singles, charge no money for registration, even letting you include your photo for free, so try these first.

When looking for your life partner, always give preference to a person with similar interests. You may want to look for Christian content that most of the subscribers look for when evaluating dating services. The speed of the websites, search functions and options will vary from service to service so check these out before you register.
Some of the Christian dating services online are run by Christians and some will be run by non-Christians; this may or may not be important to you.

Whether you're looking for a more casual relationship, or something more serious, now is the time to get started. Check out some dating websites today. If you apply yourself every day to the task at hand you should be able to line up some good dating possibilities fast. Begin your exciting journey or adventure into the world of Christian dating services today.

www.christianmatch.co/   is run by Christians

Sunday, 26 May 2019

Take Hold of Your Dream

“Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you...”
(2 Timothy 1:6, NKJ)


CHRISTIAN DATING


Do you need some freshness in your life today? You may simply need to stir up what God has placed on the inside of you. Stir up those gifts, stir up those dreams, stir up those talents inside. Start stretching yourself. You were created to be a dreamer and pursue the desires God has placed in your heart.
The scripture tells us that without vision, people perish. If you don’t have a dream or vision for your life, you’re not really going to reach your fullest potential. Maybe at one time you had a dream, but you went through some disappointments or setbacks. Things didn’t turn out the way you planned. But here’s a key: when one dream dies, dream another dream. Just because it didn’t work out the way you had it planned doesn’t mean that God doesn’t have another plan. You cannot allow one disappointment or even a series of disappointments to convince you that your dream is over. It’s time to dig in your heels and hold on to the promises in your heart. Stir up those God-given dreams today and watch Him pour out His favor and blessing upon you and fulfill every desire in your heart!

A PRAYER FOR TODAY

Father in heaven, I come humbly to You. I give You my past, my disappointments, my brokenness. Fill me with Your hope and expectation and give me the dreams and desires that You have in store for my life in Jesus’ name. Amen.

CHRISTIAN DATING

Tuesday, 26 March 2019

Common Christian Dating Mistakes - You Can Avoid Them

Here are some common mistakes you may be making when looking for a Christian date.  They are easy to rectify and could make the difference in your success in find the person you want to spend more time with.

1.  A Lack of Effort to meet other Christian Singles
We tend to pray about all the other things in our lives - a new job, success, concern for family and many others.  When praying about meeting somebody new it is important to put in the practical effort as well!  Joining a Dating site or local Christian community social group are examples of what you can do to start the ball rolling.

2.  Try Many of the Common Relationship Avenues that have worked for others
Don't dream up your "love story" before it happens.  Just because you have envisioned meeting somebody at your local church does not mean you should forsake all other avenues of possibility.  Dating sites can offer a broader scope of people to meet that you may not have been open to before.

3.  A point of Decision for the Person you have met
Once you have met the person you are looking for, it is important to get to a point where a decision is made:  do they like you enough to spend more time together?  Ask clear questions if you want a definitive answer.


4.  Don't wait too long to take action on what you want to happen
When the opportunity presents itself - take action.  Don't wait around, that time may pass and when you want to make a decision the person has moved on.  What point are you at in your life?  Ready for Dating?  Ready for a serious relationship?  Just ready for friendship?

5.  Caring too much about what Friends or Family have to say
Be aware that you should make your own decision, and listen to what God has to say for your life.  Others do not know what goes on in your heart.

6.  Not caring enough about what Friends and Family have to say
Be humble enough to listen to the wisdom of Family and friends who are Christians and have your best interests at heart.  Often they see more than you can in a situation as they are not so emotionally close.

7.  Try and have your Life in order before you even attempt to be in a Relationship
Make sure you have yourself sorted out with a job that makes you financially independent.  This will go a long way to boost your self confidence when embarking on a new relationship.  You do NOT want to be a financial burden to somebody new in your life.  It's not necessary to be wealthy, but enough to pay the rent and be self sufficient each month.

8.  Dating the Wrong Person for too long
One of the ways to stop you from Dating the right person is to be involved with the wrong person for too long.  If God is leading you to end a relationship that is not good for you then you need to listen.  There could be somebody He has in mind for you that will depend on timing in your life.

9.  Holding onto the Hope that a certain Relationship will happen
Be careful of becoming attached to somebody in your life - hoping that something will eventually happen.  Life and that person will move on.  Don't get stuck in the past.

10.  Assuming Abstinence is outdated
Don't assume this is outdated because many people you know are having sex before marriage.  This doesn't mean you have to as well.  God's word and promise for you has not changed.  You stand to miss out on the blessings He has for you when you give yourself to your husband/wife for the first time.  Spiritual bonding is an important thing in a marriage.

11.  Don't think somebody will become a Mature Christian spouse if they are not a mature single Christian
Becoming married to somebody does not make you a mature person if you weren't that before.  You suddenly have way more responsibilities.  Don't be mistaken in thinking that if you get married everything will get better.

12.  Making excuses so you can disobey commands in the Bible
There are so many countless pitfalls and mistakes we can make in Christian Dating - not studying the Word of God and being disciplined in our daily walk will only make things very complicated and worse for ourselves.  There will always be challenges and if we don't keep Him first in our lives we will not succeed in Christian Dating.  Keep focused on God.


To meet Christian Singles who are looking for a Faith based Relationship

https://www.christianmatch.co.za/














Wednesday, 20 March 2019

3 STEPS TO FIND GOD’S WILL IN WHO TO DATE

1. WHAT DOES SCRIPTURE SAY?

The Bible does not answer every question we ask. The Word only shows what is right and wrong in certain areas, thus we should only consult the Bible in these areas. We often think the Bible is a magic book that answers everything, but in regards to dating, not much is said. Dating was not even a concept in Bible times. The most specific answer the Bible provides for who to date is to make sure that you are equally yoked. This means that as a Christian, you must date and marry another Christian.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV).
So, ask yourself, is he a believer? If the answer is no, then you cannot date him.
There is no grey area for this question. If the answer is yes, then move on to step 2.

2. ARE THERE ANY MORAL REASONS YOU SHOULD NOT DATE HIM?

Now is the time to look into your life and his life and to ask yourself if there is any moral reason you should not date. For example, if you are addicted to porn then you probably shouldn’t date, but instead you should work on that sin issue. It will be harder to examine his heart and to know if there are any moral reasons to not date him than to examine your own heart. For this reason, it is important to spend time getting to know each other in the context of friendship. Spend time with him in groups and see how he interacts with other women. What are your friends saying about him? Do they approve? Are they seeing any red flags?
If there is no moral reason to not date, then get excited – there is freedom in your decision! You now can choose freely if you want to date him. Do you have fun together? Could you see yourself together long term? Ladies, you can’t mess up God’s will. The Bible is not going to tell you if you should date this specific guy. Embrace the freedom that God has given you in this decision and remember that this is not a decision of right or wrong.
If he loves Jesus, if he is equally yoked with you and if there are no moral issues – you can freely choose to date him.
At this point, you still may be asking, but how do I know for sure that dating him is God’s will? What if I miss out on someone else? How do I know he is the one?
There are probably hundreds of believers on this planet that you could date. I believe that a man becomes “the one” the moment he becomes your husband. (Read why you can not miss out on “the one.”) With that being said, let’s continue to step 3.

3. TRUST THE GOD OF THE BIBLE TO ACCOMPLISH HIS PLAN.

Most of God’s plans are secret. We have to fearlessly trust in Him to accomplish His will. We can’t seek God’s individual will for our lives because God did not reveal them to us. God does have a will and a plan for each and every one of us, but most of the time it is secret.
If God is keeping secrets, it is not our role to figure them out. When God wants to be heard, he will make Himself heard.
Have you heard someone say that they want to make the right decision because they want to be at the center of God’s will? This is not possible. We can’t live at the center of God’s will because it’s a secret. Trust in Him friends. Trust that He knows what He is doing. He knows who you will date. He knows who you will marry.
So yes, take dating seriously. Pray and seek wise council, but don’t live in anxiety over your decision like I did. Enjoy the freedom that God has given you for this decision. Enjoy getting to know the man. Enjoy the moments of new experiences and feelings. I hope you find freedom from this post. I think a lot of believers want so badly to live for God that we stress ourselves out when it comes to decision making. Ladies, there is freedom and there is grace in decision making. And let me tell you, experiencing God’s freedom and grace in dating is a beautiful gift from God. Thank God for this gift and enjoy dating.  https://joypedrow.com/
Dating site for Christian Singles who are looking for a Faith based Relationship

Christian Match   

https://www.christianmatch.co.za/

Tuesday, 12 March 2019

Christian Match - for Christian Dating in SA


Faith plays an important part in Dating for Christian Singles. Join our extensive database of members for FREE and find your Match made in Heaven!    https://www.christianmatch.co.za/

God will Be With You



Faith plays an important part in Dating for Christian Singles. Join our extensive database of members for FREE and find your Match made in Heaven!    https://www.christianmatch.co.za/

Friday, 8 March 2019

Christian Dating - Join Christian Match


Faith plays an important part in Dating for Christian Singles. Join our extensive database of members for FREE and find your Match made in Heaven!    https://www.christianmatch.co.za/

Thursday, 7 March 2019

5 Boundary Considerations when Christian Dating

With a devout focus on God's place in our daily lives - navigating modern Dating can be way more difficult than it used to be.  The place of faith and putting God in the right context are at times not so easy to put into perspective.

The reality is that Christian Singles who are interested in marriage and commitment require more Dating advice when it comes to potentially meeting and forming a relationship moving forward.

When you start dating a good looking guy, the attraction builds.  What do you do?  It's difficult to decide when passion is playing it's part.  It's important that you decide what your boundaries are before you go on the date.

1. Boundaries Around Your Emotional Intimacy

Dating can be precarious because you are more than friends but less than spouses and the status of your relationship can change at any moment because dating comes with limited commitment levels.  The more commitment there is the more emotional connectivity there should be.  Emotional bonds without commitment is what leads to broken hearts.  You should not share everything with your boyfriend or girlfriend because the highest levels of commitment are not yet there.  You should share what you need to share to accomplish the goals of dating and no more.

2.  You Should Have Boundaries Around Talking About Your Futures Together

Just like your emotions, planning for the future together in your Christian dating experience should coincide wit increased levels of commitment.  The more commitment the two of you make, the more it makes sense to talk about the future.  Conversations about emotional, future-centered topics need to happen once the relationship starts getting "medium" to "very" on the serious scale.  But if you are in the "not that serious" zone and you are talking about how the two of you are going to divide up the holidays with your families once you get married 10 years from now, you are playing with fire.

3.  Boundaries Around Your Expectations In Christian Dating Will Help Your Heart Stay Healthy

One of the fun parts about dating is the hope it often brings.  Hope is a joyful expectation of something good.  While our hope should ultimately be in Jesus Christ, there should be healthy levels of hope for a dating relationship to progress into marriage.  If there is no hope in a dating relationship, why would you be in it?  It brings immense joy when two people date and then have their "desire fulfilled" if they decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together.  But on the flip side, the unfulfilled hope of a dating relationship turning into a breakup rather than a marriage can make a heart sick.  You should put boundaries around your expectations and hopes in your Christian dating relationship.  Don't rush in with astronomically high hopes.  Ask God to give you healthy and realistic levels.  To guard your heart, you need to make sure your levels of hope are appropriate for the season your Christian Dating Relationship is actually in.

4.  Boundaries Around Your Sexuality in Christian Dating Are a Must

This one should be high on your list of Christian dating boundaries.  Sexual boundaries are what most people think of first because it's probably the easiest temptation to fall into.  How far is too far?  What are you allowed to do in dating?  Is kissing okay?  What about spooning?  So the Bible does not give us a list of sexual boundaries we are not to cross in Christian dating.  Rather, again, it gives us two big categories we are to stay within:
  • Sexual experiences away from your spouse are sin.
  • Sexual experiences with your spouse are good.

5.  In Christian Dating You Need Boundaries for Your Words and Promises

One thing that's just too important not to mention is boundaries for your words and promises.  When Christians abstain from sexual sin, the desire to connect through words is going to be even more intense.  But just like the rest of these categories, you must balance your commitment levels with the levels you are connecting at.  Guard what you say if you want to guard your heart.  Don't tell someone you love them and then not commit to them.  Of course there are different levels to love.  But if you say "I love you" to someone you are romantically involved with, you are going to awaken all kinds of things that should really only be awakened for those intending to marry.

These are some boundaries to consider in Christian Dating.

Visit https://www.christianmatch.co.za/ for Christians looking for a Faith based relationship.


Wednesday, 22 March 2017

How to Practice Trust Effectively

 Trust is what allows us to believe in ourselves, in others, and in situations. When put into action, it looks like our being confident and knowing that all will be okay no matter what. Liberator of the constraints of our fears and anxiety, from a trusting place, we feel spacious, light, and more open to not knowing the answer, or okay with not being sure of what the exact outcome is going to be.
As a potent antidote to the stress and overwhelm so many of us feel today, there is no greater practice than to practice trust. By continuing to do a specific activity again and again in order to deepen our understanding and strengthen our skills and fluency of that very action.

 CLICK HERE FOR CHRISTIAN DATING

 The most opportune time to begin practicing trust is in the very moment you feel your confidence wane, and your anxiety rise diminishing your belief in yourself, or in another, or in the likelihood of an outcome you were hoping and wishing for.
We all know when we start heading down this rabbit hole of hopelessness and defeat to that dark place where pessimism trumps optimism. In this familiar scenario, we become our own worst enemies by convincing ourselves that nothing good could possibly happen. Most notably, we do this even after spending significant periods of time being so confident, hopeful, and positive. 

The most wonderful and powerful quality of trust is that we can keep growing and strengthening it within ourselves even after it feels like we have lost it completely. This growth-strengthening quality is what makes practicing trust so positive and rewarding. So before you go completely down that rabbit hole, use the following steps to start practicing trust again, and again, and again!

Step 1)
NOTICE: (as best you can) when you are feeling despair and disbelief in yourself, or in another, or in a desired outcome of a situation.


STEP 2)
STAND BACK: get some distance be it physical, or mental. Physical distance looks like literally moving away from the situation. Take a break, a walk, call a friend (but don’t talk about your despair!) Mental distance means ceasing all thoughts of what’s going on. Change your thoughts but first mark your transitioning into having new ones with breath. Take deep inhalations followed by big exhalations. Do this at least 3 times! Then with a clearer mind allow yourself to experience other thoughts apart from any negative doubting ones. Not always easy but you can do it!


STEP 3)
RETURN:Here is where you re-engage yourself to your original despair but in an empowering way. You do this by telling yourself: “I can’t believe I am allowing myself to go down the rabbit hole of despair. As hard as things seem right now, I do not want to choose despair even though I honestly am afraid things are not going to work, or that I can’t do what I said I wanted, or I won’t receive what I asked for….”


STEP 4)
CHOOSE- Here is the final part in which you tell yourself: “I am not choosing despair. I am not choosing to be cynical. I am choosing instead to practice trust in this moment by trusting that what I want, what I need, what I hope for, will and can unfold. I am choosing to accept that anything right now is possible and to be in the possibility that what I want, need, and wish for will prevail in the ways that I can imagine, and also in ways that I could never have imagined. I am willing to trust and be open here and right now.” Then, take a big inhalation followed by a strong exhalation 3 times to complete this final step.


After doing these 4 steps you will most probably notice a positive shift. And while this change might be small, and not have brought you back completely to a more comfortable zone of optimism and confidence, keep building upon the positive here.Keep going-Practice again and again: Notice, Stand Back, Return, and Choose. Make this your mantra

 CLICK HERE FOR CHRISTIAN DATING

Tuesday, 6 December 2016

You ARE Better Having Loved and Lost

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There’s a unique shame and brokenness associated with breakups. Relationships and love may be celebrated more in the church than anywhere else because we (rightly) love marriage so much. Unfortunately, these same convictions often make breakups an uncomfortable conversation — at best embarrassing and at worst scandalous or humiliating.
You feel like damaged goods, like you’ve been ruined in God’s eyes or in the eyes of others. The hard-to-believe, but beautiful truth is that broken-up you is a better you. If in your sorrow you turn to the Lord and repent of whatever sin you brought to this relationship, you are as precious to your heavenly Father as you have ever been, and he is using every inch of your heartache, failure, or regret to make you more of what he created you to be and to give you more of what he created you to enjoy — himself.
When one prize is stripped away, we can graciously be reminded of how little we have apart from Christ and the fortune he’s purchased for us with his blood. He has become for us wisdom for the foolish, righteousness for sinners, sanctification for the broken, and redemption for the lost and afraid (1 Corinthians 1:30) — and affection and security and identity for the lonely man or woman reeling after the end of a relationship. So even in the aftermath of a breakup we have reason to boast, as long as our boast is in everything Christ is for us (1 Corinthians 1:31).
In Jesus, God is always and only doing good to you. There’s no circumstance facing you that he’s not engineering to give you deep and durable life and freedom and joy. He loves our lasting joy in him much more than he loves our temporary comfort today. He’ll make the trade any day, and we can be glad he does. Know that God is doing good, even when we feel worst.

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Saturday, 19 November 2016

In Times of Conflict - Return to a Love Situation


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It is often the case that the people we love most are those that we have the worst conflicts with. Our most intimate relationships can touch upon our deepest places of hurt, mistrust and wounding often leading to misunderstandings, distance or fighting. Although these bumps along the path of relating may be inevitable, we can smooth the ride (or at least manage to stay on the path!) by remembering to return to a place of love in all situations of conflict.
What does this mean? Well, It means that no matter how you are triggered, how right you feel, how hurt you are there is nothing that will support your relationship (and you) more than being able to stay connected to the deep love that you feel for the person with which you are in conflict.
There are lots of ways to practice this but here is a step by step plan of how you actually make the physical, mental and emotional shift from negative emotion to a place of love. So that you can be more effective at solving the conflict and building trust and intimacy. These are the steps to take when you start to see red while engaging with someone you love. Whenever possible, as soon as you become aware that you are getting agitated, take a breath and a moment to do the following:

Step #1: Recognize where you are. See your desire to hurt, blame or separate from the other person.

Step #2: Switch your perspective. You don’t have to forgive, agree or accept them, anything they say, or what they are doing. Just remember what it feels like to love that person


Step #3: Think of what you would do or how you would act if you were feeling this love. In other words, if you were to choose loving connection over hurt, blame or disconnection what would you do.


Step #4: Decide what you want. Now that you have seen each of the options, which is the one that you want to choose?


Step#5: Love yourself for making the best choice you can in the moment regardless of what it is. 


CLICK HERE FOR CHRISTIAN DATING
 
It is really easy in the heat of the moment to lose sight of everything that we valued and believed when we were not in the conflict. Simply by reconnecting with the memory of being loving towards the other person, it frees us up to find new options for resolution and connection.

Saturday, 30 July 2016

How To Make Online Dating Work For You

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Online dating... it's a love hate relationship isn't it? I'm sure you've heard of all the horror stories about online dating... girls being cheated, men spamming your inboxes and men who just wants to have fun... and I don't blame you for freaking out after hearing so many horror stories.
You will want to try it out if you are new to the dating scene or if you haven't been dating for a while. And going out to meet new people isn't exactly your cup of tea right now.  It's scary to suddenly get out of your comfort zone and go out there and be vulnerable.   

But here's an interesting fact... the ratio of men to women on the dating sites is 9:1. That means 90% of the people on those dating sites are men and only 10% are women. So if that's the case then YOUR chances of success is so much higher than the men.

First of all, if your impression of online dating sites is on the negative side and you think that all the men on those sites are out to cheat or they are not serious then naturally that will be your experience because that's what you belief and focus on.
Because that's your perception, then even if a nice guy contacted you, you'll doubt his intentions and you end up sabotaging yourself.
Secondly, if you are someone who judges a lot on the physical, the men you attract will also judge you on the physical. The same principle applies to dating agencies. They match you based on the superficial level.... how he looks, what's his job (tittle), how much he makes....

How can you make online dating work for you?
Get rid of the mindset that all the men on the dating sites are jerks. If you feel that way, don't bother participating.  

Get clear on WHY you want to participate on the dating site. i.e. To make new friends.
Your profile picture should be one that is able to show the real you. No bikini photo.
Write your profile truthfully. You don't want to attract the "wrong" kind of men.
Send out good, positive vibes and expect success.
If you haven't been dating for a while now, you may get all excited about going on your first date and lose yourself. Going on dates doesn't mean you have to pretend to be someone you are not to impress the guy. The purpose of these dates is to get to know the guy better and get clear on what you want and what you don't want. If he ain't the right one... move on... NEXT...
Remember... you are the prize and you totally deserve the best because you are worth it!

The Best Breakup Advice is the Simplest

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You should note that this doesn't say the best breakup advice is the easiest. There's just nothing easy about it. With most things in life, just like breakup advice, the simpler the steps are to follow the better the advice is.
Why is that? It's best because people will find it a little more difficult to mess up simple, uncomplicated steps for one thing. Another reason it's so good is that people will actually put it into practice if it's simple enough. The final reason simple is best. 
There are few steps and even fewer lines to remember this way. Nothing important gets left out.
So, what's this simple breakup advice that's supposed to be the best?

Be Consistent about Breaking Up
Going back and forth or changing your mind not only sends mixed messages but it also gives the person you're supposed to be breaking up with a clear message that you're not really committed to ending things or attempting to make changes. Since there is something amiss in the relationship or you wouldn't be thinking about breaking up, it's safe to say that this is not really the message you want to be sending.

Get to the Breaking Up Part
There's no point in "hemming" and "hawing" around the main message. Get to the heart of the matter so that you can move on to dealing with the fallout. Expect some sort of fallout. It hurts when relationships end and people deal with that pain in different ways. It could be anger, tears, silent misery, and a need for quick escape. You owe it to the person you once loved to allow them to deal with the break up as they need to. Delaying will only prolong the inevitable.

Be Honest but not Brutally Honest
There are times in life when brutal honesty is the best course of action. This is not that time. You want to be honest about your reason for breaking up but not at the expense of his or her emotional well being. This is a time when your ex is down. You just don't go around kicking people when they are down. It just isn't very nice. Be gentle but don't give false reasons for calling it off.

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These may not seem like much but they do make an effective method for breaking up. More importantly they are simple steps and that makes this the best breaking up advice you might see for quite some time.

Does Age Matter In Relationships?

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When it comes to relationships, there is an old saying that goes, “age is mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” What is basically being said there is that age really doesn’t have any bearing on a relationship unless you choose to make it one. That seems like a perfectly plausible argument, yet there are still plenty of people out there that just don’t think that people who are years apart can ever be in a relationship that will last. My feeling is that it really does all depend on the two people who are in the relationship, as it is their dynamic that will ultimately make their union succeed or fail.

Age differences in relationships are a funny thing that seems to become less important with the passing of time. For example, a 10 year age difference doesn’t seem that big a deal when one of the people is 50 and the other one is 40. Roll those ages back to 28 and 18, and you begin to get people questioning the validity of that relationship. There are those that would look at the latter of those two age pairings and question what the 28 year old was up to. Some would even look at the older of the two in a way that was less than favorable, almost with the feeling that they must somehow be taking advantage of the younger person.

The fact is that none of us should really get to judge a relationship based solely on the ages of the two people involved in it. Just because we don’t think that we could relate to someone much younger than ourselves, doesn’t mean that another person can’t. It’s also a little arrogant and foolish to believe that someone who is younger doesn’t have the maturity to be involved with someone who is older than they are. There are some 20 year olds that have their heads on better than people twice their age, yet there is still the feeling that they must still somehow be emotionally stunted at that age.

You would think that by now we would all have become somewhat desensitized to relationships that involve big age gaps, especially since we are subjected to them on a daily basis on TV and in the movies. It’s almost become the norm now that the leading man in any show has to have a partner who is a lot less younger than he, whilst also usually being way out of his league. Yes, this should desensitize us all, but what it really seems to do is add fuel to the fire for those who see that sort of age difference as some sort of abomination.

It doesn’t really help when what we see on film spills over into real life. There have now been numerous instances of a much younger person “falling in love” with someone far older than they. The intentions of those folks are usually questioned, if only because the person they choose to fall for usually has millions in the bank and is on their last legs. It certainly doesn’t help the cause of those who believe that love can ignite between two people, regardless of age, but that is like saying that all marriages are a sham because so many now end in divorce.

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There are plenty of couples out there who are far apart in years, but whose souls were somehow meant to be together. The problem is that we seldom get to see or hear about these couples, as it’s only the bad ones that get the spotlight on them as an example of how relationships like that work. We really don’t have any business poking our noses in and passing judgment on relationships that have a big age difference. We know nothing about what those folks truly feel for each other, and at the end of the day, all that really does matter is how they feel.

Planning a Date for Her? Here Are Some Tips


Have you met someone nice and you want to date her? Planning a date for her could be really stressful if you do not know what to do. With good planning, you can create a date that she will reminisce even years after. To save you of the stress and anxiety, here are some tips in planning a perfect date for the girl of your dreams.

Do not panic and relax. Although a date can make or break your future relationship with the girl of your dreams, relax because getting anxious cannot help you in the planning. You can think and decide clearly if you are calm. It is normal to get nervous thinking about the date you are going to have with her but do no let your nervousness rule you. Be positive and always think that everything will turn out well.

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If this is your first date with her, it is more appropriate to have a lunch date. First dates should not be stressful and you both should feel comfortable with each other. Dinner date on a fancy restaurant for a first date could be really serious and too much formality can be really uncomfortable for both of you. Choose a less formal venue and have the date at lunch time so your date will just be light and fun. With less formality, you and your date will get to know each other more.

It is important to be punctual. In planning a date for her, the venue and the activities you both want to do are important but if you appear late on your date, you will ruin a supposedly perfect time. So plan accordingly and make sure to show up before the scheduled time.

In planning a date for her, take note that this is about her. It can be overwhelming to think about the venue, the food you are going to order, your attire etc. that you may forget that this date is about her.  Always have her in mind when planning. Know what she likes to do and what will make her feel special. It will be great if you have a common hobby or interest that you can together to make the date interactive.

Clean your car and your place. If you offer to pick her up, clean you car if you want to leave a good first impression. Accept it or not, a man can be judged by how he takes care of his things. A well-kept and clean car can leave a good first impression on her. You do not know if she will end up hanging out in your place so tidy up just in case
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Always have a back up plan. You will never know the circumstances, so it is best to have a back up plan just in case something goes wrong with your original plan. This will also show how flexible you are, a trait most women admire.

Be prepared to pay for the whole date. Some women are comfortable sharing with the expenses but you should be prepared to pay for the whole date. In planning, keep your budget in mind. Do not make plans for something that is beyond your financial capability. Remember that a perfect date does not have to be expensive. But if you can afford it, there is nothing wrong to be extravagant but you have to be careful not to send the wrong message.
Planning a perfect date is the first step in attracting the woman of your dreams.


Friday, 22 July 2016

Steps That Will Help You Rebuild a Broken Trust

 Have you ever disappointed someone or broken a promise? Was the incident serious enough to ultimately compromise the trust between you? We all have been untrustworthy at some point. That doesn't mean that we're bad or selfish. Sometimes, even under the best of circumstances, we let people down. We give them information believing it to be true only to discover it lacked integrity. "You lied to me! I'll never trust you again!" 


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There are some who will deliberately mislead others. While they reassure you they are trustworthy their actions contradict their words.
We've also been deceived by those we believed in. "I promise if you tell me about your brother-in-law's affair I won't say a word to anyone. You can trust me." "I promise to love and honor you through good times and bad all the days of our lives." (That one hits home for a lot of us doesn't it?) Or perhaps a co-worker steals your idea and receives company recognition rightly belonging to you. Your underage child assures you that there will be no alcohol at Saturday's party then stumbles home at 2 am reeking of beer. A minor infraction ("I know I promised to be at your retirement dinner but I totally forgot it was this weekend.") may be easily overlooked. One of a more serious nature ("I can't pay back the money you loaned me to buy a new car.") might require more than a simple "Oops, sorry!" to move beyond. 

A damaged trust can completely destroy an important relationship. 

There is a strong connection between trust and anger. My definition of fear is "a lack of trust". We are leery of those we find unreliable. "I have to watch what I say around Uncle Joe. He can get nasty and volatile." We may feel as though we are walking on eggshells around those we are suspect of. This anxiety (a mild form of fear - one of the three root causes of anger) can easily convert to anger as a means of self-protection.
Some believe that once broken a trust can never be rebuilt. I'm not one of those people. I've personally regained my faith in someone who deeply deceived me and restored a wonderful relationship with him that continues today. I've also witnessed couples rebuild their fractured marriages after a painful infidelity. But unlike respect, trust must be earned. Like many others I've learnt the hard way that not all people are deserving of trust. But there are specific steps one can take to restore a broken relationship:

1. Consider the true nature and moral values of the offending party. Was this an isolated incident or a habitual pattern of behaviour? Even the most astute people sometimes act imprudently.

2. Has the offending party acknowledged their mistake? Awareness is the first key necessary for any restoration to occur.

3. Have they offered a sincere apology and displayed a willingness to make amends or restitution? Saying "I'm sorry" is only the first phase. One needs to take the necessary steps to rectify the offence.

4. Does the individual fully understand the underlying issues that precluded their actions? By doing so, they are better equipped to prevent a recurrence.

5. Have they been willing to see the situation through your eyes? Do they fully understand the depth and scope of how this has affected you? Do they "get it"? Empathy and compassion lessens the risk of a recurrence.

6. Have they made the necessary changes and proven themselves to be consistent? Words are cheap; actions reveal. Only through repeated uniform acts can one prove they are reliable and worthy of your trust.

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If all of the above components are present then individuals can move beyond the unfortunate incident and ultimately repair and rebuild the relationship. Like a broken bone: the area of the fracture, once healed, is stronger than that which has always remained intact.