- Those who cross physical boundaries
- Those who will date anyone who believes in some nebulous “god.”
- Those who fail to care about finding evidences of spiritual maturity in a potential mate, such as regular church attendance and Bible study participation.
- And those who have snuggle sleepovers that they swear include no sexual activity but are beyond the scriptural bounds of the Song of Solomon, which repeatedly tells us not to arouse or awaken love until the time of marriage.
3. Pursue only someone you love. The Bible says that husbands should love their wives and that wives should love their husbands. It is grievous when people marry who are not truly in love or willing to work on safeguarding and growing their love. Proverbs 30:21–23 says that the world cannot hold up under the weight of despair that is wrought by a married woman who is unloved. If a man and woman do not love one another and are not radically devoted to that love lasting a lifetime, then they should not marry.
4. Do not have any sexual contact until marriage. As noted earlier, single Christians are prone to ask where the line is. That question is sinful because it is asking how to get closer to sin rather than closer to Jesus. The Bible says, “Among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.” Paul says elsewhere that a single man should not touch any woman in any sexual way. The issue is not where the line is, but, as Song of Solomon often says, when the time is. That time is the covenant of marriage. Until then, the New Testament repeatedly says to avoid porneia, that junk-drawer term for all kinds of sexual sin. As my friend John Piper often says, by God’s grace and the Spirit’s power, “theology can conquer biology.” A marriage must be built on the worship of God so that spiritual intimacy can enable all other intimacy, such as mental, emotional, physical, and sexual, without shame and without sin.
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