Trust is what allows us to believe in ourselves, in others, and in situations. When put into action, it looks like our being confident and knowing that all will be okay no matter what. Liberator of the constraints of our fears and anxiety, from a trusting place, we feel spacious, light, and more open to not knowing the answer, or okay with not being sure of what the exact outcome is going to be.
As a potent antidote to the stress and overwhelm so many of us feel
today, there is no greater practice than to practice trust. By continuing to do a specific activity again and again in order
to deepen our understanding and strengthen our skills and fluency of
that very action.
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The most opportune time to begin practicing trust is in the very moment you feel your confidence wane, and your anxiety rise diminishing your belief in yourself, or in another, or in the likelihood of an outcome you were hoping and wishing for.
We all know when we start heading down this rabbit hole of
hopelessness and defeat to that dark place where pessimism trumps
optimism. In this familiar scenario, we become our own worst enemies by
convincing ourselves that nothing good could possibly happen. Most
notably, we do this even after spending significant periods of time
being so confident, hopeful, and positive.
The most wonderful and powerful quality of trust is that we can keep
growing and strengthening it within ourselves even after it feels like
we have lost it completely. This growth-strengthening quality is what
makes practicing trust so positive and rewarding. So before you go
completely down that rabbit hole, use the following steps to start
practicing trust again, and again, and again!
NOTICE: (as best you can) when you are feeling despair and disbelief in
yourself, or in another, or in a desired outcome of a situation.
STAND BACK: get some distance be it physical, or mental. Physical
distance looks like literally moving away from the situation. Take a
break, a walk, call a friend (but don’t talk about your despair!) Mental
distance means ceasing all thoughts of what’s going on. Change your
thoughts but first mark your transitioning into having new ones with
breath. Take deep inhalations followed by big exhalations. Do this at
least 3 times! Then with a clearer mind allow yourself to experience
other thoughts apart from any negative doubting ones. Not always easy
but you can do it!
RETURN:Here is where you re-engage yourself to your original despair but
in an empowering way. You do this by telling yourself: “I can’t
believe I am allowing myself to go down the rabbit hole of despair. As
hard as things seem right now, I do not want to choose despair even
though I honestly am afraid things are not going to work, or that I
can’t do what I said I wanted, or I won’t receive what I asked for….”
CHOOSE- Here is the final part in which you tell yourself: “I am not
choosing despair. I am not choosing to be cynical. I am choosing instead
to practice trust in this moment by trusting that what I want, what I
need, what I hope for, will and can unfold. I am choosing to accept that
anything right now is possible and to be in the possibility that what I
want, need, and wish for will prevail in the ways that I can imagine,
and also in ways that I could never have imagined. I am willing to trust
and be open here and right now.” Then, take a big inhalation followed
by a strong exhalation 3 times to complete this final step.
After doing these 4 steps you will most probably notice a positive
shift. And while this change might be small, and not have brought you
back completely to a more comfortable zone of optimism and confidence,
keep building upon the positive here.Keep going-Practice again and
again: Notice, Stand Back, Return, and Choose. Make this your mantra
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