Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Dealing With Rejection

 Dating can be a scary process, and the potential rejection that sometimes accompanies it is many people’s greatest fear come to life. It can be painful to be turned down by someone, especially when you get your hopes up. However, any suffering caused by dismissal can be avoided; all you need to do is change your own mindset.


1: Don’t Take Things Too Personally
One of the biggest mistakes that you can make when dealing with rejection is to take the entire situation personally. Don’t let yourself think “He/She rejected me because I’m not good enough”; remember, there are countless other reasons why an invitation could be turned down, and many of them are quite reasonable and innocent.
Try to think about it from the other person’s perspective; they may have a lot going on, and your particular request or engagement might not rank as highly to them as it does to you. This isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing, just the way of the world. Not everybody will prioritize things the same way that you do, and often this asymmetry will lead to rejection. Keep that in mind, and try not to treat any dismissal as a personal wound.

2: Treat Every Experience Independently
A big mistake to avoid is to overgeneralize an experience when faced with rejection. Remember that all situations are different, especially when dealing with unique people. That means that different outcomes are likely; a declination with one person could easily result in acceptance by another without any other variables being changed.
It’s completely foolish to allow any kind of rejection to discourage you from making any future attempts of the same nature. One bad experience doesn’t determine the outcome of the rest of your life, so don’t give any particular dismissal too much credence. 

3: Look at Rejection Realistically 
Being turned down doesn’t directly harm you in any way; in reality you’re only lamenting over what could have been. Feeling bad over potential is one of the most foolish things that you can do, simply because potential is created and destroyed en masse each day. In that sense rejection is just the closure of an opportunity, and that isn’t a very significant loss when compared the countless opportunities that we ignore each day in lieu of more preferential choices.
At its core, a dismissal is simply the word ‘NO’ packaged up to make it seem more important. It’s like a really big, fancily gift wrapped box with a very small, unimpressive response inside. Are you really going to let a tiny two letter word determine how you feel?

4: Don’t Put the other Person on a Pedestal
Another reason behind the considerable pain of rejection is the fact that many of us hold the other party in a particularly high status. We “get our hopes up” so to speak, and this only makes rejection hurt even more when it does happen.
The fix for this is to avoid putting all of your psychological eggs in one basket. Dismissal is going to happen; that’s just a fact of life. Trying to avoid it won’t make it go away, but it is possible to handle your affairs in such a way that you don’t get crushed when rejection does rear its ugly head.


Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Dating Tips for Christian Singles


1. Don’t Date Just To Date

Although dating can be seen as harmless and fun, dating for the sake of dating can really screw with someone’s head. Not only is it unfair to the individuals you are seeing, but it’s also unfair to yourself. Don’t purposely put yourself into situations that will only mess with your emotions. There is a maturity and responsibility that comes along with the action of dating, and if your only reason for dating is “just because,” I would really encourage you to take a step back and not move forward in your pursuit. The motives of your heart play a big role in your dating life and will continue to play a role in any future relationship. Evaluate your motives.

2. You’re Allowed To Have High Standards

Your standards need to be somewhat obtainable, but don’t let anyone tell you that your standards are too high. The reality is that you’re looking for the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, so inevitably you have every right to be as picky as you want to be. Don’t settle for something mediocre when God has something exceptional for you.

3. Purity Paves The Way To Intimacy 

I’m not gonna go ultra-conservative on you and claim sex before marriage leads to death, but I will say the wait is worth it. Not only does purity show a sense of respect and honor to one another, but it will also show the depth in which your relationship with God stands. God intended sex to be for marriage, and as a follower of Christ it’s our duty to protect this sacred gift. The world around us has turned sexual activity into a recreational sport, when in fact God intended it to be a spiritual joining of two people. Don’t let the world poison your view on sex. God intended it for more.

4. Prayer Is The Key

This tip speaks for itself. And although it might be a no-brainer to most of you, you’d be surprised to know how many people leave prayer and fasting out of their dating lives. When it comes to Christian dating, any relationship that hasn’t been prayerfully considered is a relationship I’d re-consider. I’m not saying you can’t find a wonderful person without praying, but why would you want to ignore the opportunity to seek wisdom and guidance from the creator of the universe? Don’t make sense to me. Spend time in conversation with God, and allow him to guide you towards someone he sees fit. There is no such thing as a prayer-less Godly relationship.