Dating can be a scary process, and the potential rejection that sometimes accompanies it is many people’s greatest fear come to life. It can be painful to be turned down by someone, especially when you get your hopes up. However, any suffering caused by dismissal can be avoided; all you need to do is change your own mindset.
1: Don’t Take Things Too Personally
One of the biggest mistakes that you can make when dealing with
rejection is to take the entire situation personally. Don’t let yourself
think “He/She rejected me because I’m not good enough”; remember, there
are countless other reasons why an invitation could be turned down, and
many of them are quite reasonable and innocent.
Try to think about it from the other person’s perspective; they may
have a lot going on, and your particular request or engagement might not
rank as highly to them as it does to you. This isn’t necessarily a good
or bad thing, just the way of the world. Not everybody will prioritize
things the same way that you do, and often this asymmetry will lead to
rejection. Keep that in mind, and try not to treat any dismissal as a
2: Treat Every Experience Independently
A big mistake to avoid is to overgeneralize an experience when
faced with rejection. Remember that all situations are different,
especially when dealing with unique people. That means that different
outcomes are likely; a declination with one person could easily result
in acceptance by another without any other variables being changed.
It’s completely foolish to allow any kind of rejection to discourage
you from making any future attempts of the same nature. One bad
experience doesn’t determine the outcome of the rest of your life, so
don’t give any particular dismissal too much credence.
3: Look at Rejection Realistically
Being turned down doesn’t directly harm you in any way; in reality
you’re only lamenting over what could have been. Feeling bad over
potential is one of the most foolish things that you can do, simply
because potential is created and destroyed en masse each day. In that
sense rejection is just the closure of an opportunity, and that isn’t a
very significant loss when compared the countless opportunities that we
ignore each day in lieu of more preferential choices.
At its core, a dismissal is simply the word ‘NO’ packaged up to make it
seem more important. It’s like a really big, fancily gift wrapped box
with a very small, unimpressive response inside. Are you really going to
let a tiny two letter word determine how you feel?
4: Don’t Put the other Person on a Pedestal
Another reason behind the considerable pain of rejection is the fact
that many of us hold the other party in a particularly high status. We
“get our hopes up” so to speak, and this only makes rejection hurt even
more when it does happen.
The fix for this is to avoid putting all of your psychological eggs in
Dismissal is going to happen; that’s just a fact of life. Trying to
avoid it won’t make it go away, but it is possible to handle your
affairs in such a way that you don’t get crushed when rejection does
rear its ugly head.
CLICK HERE FOR CHRISTIAN DATING
Wednesday, 8 July 2015
1. Don’t Date Just To Date
Although dating can be seen as harmless and fun, dating for the sake of dating can really screw with someone’s head. Not only is it unfair to the individuals you are seeing, but it’s also unfair to yourself. Don’t purposely put yourself into situations that will only mess with your emotions. There is a maturity and responsibility that comes along with the action of dating, and if your only reason for dating is “just because,” I would really encourage you to take a step back and not move forward in your pursuit. The motives of your heart play a big role in your dating life and will continue to play a role in any future relationship. Evaluate your motives.
2. You’re Allowed To Have High Standards
Your standards need to be somewhat obtainable, but don’t let anyone tell you that your standards are too high. The reality is that you’re looking for the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, so inevitably you have every right to be as picky as you want to be. Don’t settle for something mediocre when God has something exceptional for you.
3. Purity Paves The Way To Intimacy
I’m not gonna go ultra-conservative on you and claim sex before marriage leads to death, but I will say the wait is worth it. Not only does purity show a sense of respect and honor to one another, but it will also show the depth in which your relationship with God stands. God intended sex to be for marriage, and as a follower of Christ it’s our duty to protect this sacred gift. The world around us has turned sexual activity into a recreational sport, when in fact God intended it to be a spiritual joining of two people. Don’t let the world poison your view on sex. God intended it for more.
4. Prayer Is The Key
This tip speaks for itself. And although it might be a no-brainer to most of you, you’d be surprised to know how many people leave prayer and fasting out of their dating lives. When it comes to Christian dating, any relationship that hasn’t been prayerfully considered is a relationship I’d re-consider. I’m not saying you can’t find a wonderful person without praying, but why would you want to ignore the opportunity to seek wisdom and guidance from the creator of the universe? Don’t make sense to me. Spend time in conversation with God, and allow him to guide you towards someone he sees fit. There is no such thing as a prayer-less Godly relationship.
Posted by Christian Match at 02:48