Tuesday, 26 March 2019

Common Christian Dating Mistakes - You Can Avoid Them

Here are some common mistakes you may be making when looking for a Christian date.  They are easy to rectify and could make the difference in your success in find the person you want to spend more time with.

1.  A Lack of Effort to meet other Christian Singles
We tend to pray about all the other things in our lives - a new job, success, concern for family and many others.  When praying about meeting somebody new it is important to put in the practical effort as well!  Joining a Dating site or local Christian community social group are examples of what you can do to start the ball rolling.

2.  Try Many of the Common Relationship Avenues that have worked for others
Don't dream up your "love story" before it happens.  Just because you have envisioned meeting somebody at your local church does not mean you should forsake all other avenues of possibility.  Dating sites can offer a broader scope of people to meet that you may not have been open to before.

3.  A point of Decision for the Person you have met
Once you have met the person you are looking for, it is important to get to a point where a decision is made:  do they like you enough to spend more time together?  Ask clear questions if you want a definitive answer.


4.  Don't wait too long to take action on what you want to happen
When the opportunity presents itself - take action.  Don't wait around, that time may pass and when you want to make a decision the person has moved on.  What point are you at in your life?  Ready for Dating?  Ready for a serious relationship?  Just ready for friendship?

5.  Caring too much about what Friends or Family have to say
Be aware that you should make your own decision, and listen to what God has to say for your life.  Others do not know what goes on in your heart.

6.  Not caring enough about what Friends and Family have to say
Be humble enough to listen to the wisdom of Family and friends who are Christians and have your best interests at heart.  Often they see more than you can in a situation as they are not so emotionally close.

7.  Try and have your Life in order before you even attempt to be in a Relationship
Make sure you have yourself sorted out with a job that makes you financially independent.  This will go a long way to boost your self confidence when embarking on a new relationship.  You do NOT want to be a financial burden to somebody new in your life.  It's not necessary to be wealthy, but enough to pay the rent and be self sufficient each month.

8.  Dating the Wrong Person for too long
One of the ways to stop you from Dating the right person is to be involved with the wrong person for too long.  If God is leading you to end a relationship that is not good for you then you need to listen.  There could be somebody He has in mind for you that will depend on timing in your life.

9.  Holding onto the Hope that a certain Relationship will happen
Be careful of becoming attached to somebody in your life - hoping that something will eventually happen.  Life and that person will move on.  Don't get stuck in the past.

10.  Assuming Abstinence is outdated
Don't assume this is outdated because many people you know are having sex before marriage.  This doesn't mean you have to as well.  God's word and promise for you has not changed.  You stand to miss out on the blessings He has for you when you give yourself to your husband/wife for the first time.  Spiritual bonding is an important thing in a marriage.

11.  Don't think somebody will become a Mature Christian spouse if they are not a mature single Christian
Becoming married to somebody does not make you a mature person if you weren't that before.  You suddenly have way more responsibilities.  Don't be mistaken in thinking that if you get married everything will get better.

12.  Making excuses so you can disobey commands in the Bible
There are so many countless pitfalls and mistakes we can make in Christian Dating - not studying the Word of God and being disciplined in our daily walk will only make things very complicated and worse for ourselves.  There will always be challenges and if we don't keep Him first in our lives we will not succeed in Christian Dating.  Keep focused on God.


To meet Christian Singles who are looking for a Faith based Relationship

https://www.christianmatch.co.za/














Wednesday, 20 March 2019

3 STEPS TO FIND GOD’S WILL IN WHO TO DATE

1. WHAT DOES SCRIPTURE SAY?

The Bible does not answer every question we ask. The Word only shows what is right and wrong in certain areas, thus we should only consult the Bible in these areas. We often think the Bible is a magic book that answers everything, but in regards to dating, not much is said. Dating was not even a concept in Bible times. The most specific answer the Bible provides for who to date is to make sure that you are equally yoked. This means that as a Christian, you must date and marry another Christian.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV).
So, ask yourself, is he a believer? If the answer is no, then you cannot date him.
There is no grey area for this question. If the answer is yes, then move on to step 2.

2. ARE THERE ANY MORAL REASONS YOU SHOULD NOT DATE HIM?

Now is the time to look into your life and his life and to ask yourself if there is any moral reason you should not date. For example, if you are addicted to porn then you probably shouldn’t date, but instead you should work on that sin issue. It will be harder to examine his heart and to know if there are any moral reasons to not date him than to examine your own heart. For this reason, it is important to spend time getting to know each other in the context of friendship. Spend time with him in groups and see how he interacts with other women. What are your friends saying about him? Do they approve? Are they seeing any red flags?
If there is no moral reason to not date, then get excited – there is freedom in your decision! You now can choose freely if you want to date him. Do you have fun together? Could you see yourself together long term? Ladies, you can’t mess up God’s will. The Bible is not going to tell you if you should date this specific guy. Embrace the freedom that God has given you in this decision and remember that this is not a decision of right or wrong.
If he loves Jesus, if he is equally yoked with you and if there are no moral issues – you can freely choose to date him.
At this point, you still may be asking, but how do I know for sure that dating him is God’s will? What if I miss out on someone else? How do I know he is the one?
There are probably hundreds of believers on this planet that you could date. I believe that a man becomes “the one” the moment he becomes your husband. (Read why you can not miss out on “the one.”) With that being said, let’s continue to step 3.

3. TRUST THE GOD OF THE BIBLE TO ACCOMPLISH HIS PLAN.

Most of God’s plans are secret. We have to fearlessly trust in Him to accomplish His will. We can’t seek God’s individual will for our lives because God did not reveal them to us. God does have a will and a plan for each and every one of us, but most of the time it is secret.
If God is keeping secrets, it is not our role to figure them out. When God wants to be heard, he will make Himself heard.
Have you heard someone say that they want to make the right decision because they want to be at the center of God’s will? This is not possible. We can’t live at the center of God’s will because it’s a secret. Trust in Him friends. Trust that He knows what He is doing. He knows who you will date. He knows who you will marry.
So yes, take dating seriously. Pray and seek wise council, but don’t live in anxiety over your decision like I did. Enjoy the freedom that God has given you for this decision. Enjoy getting to know the man. Enjoy the moments of new experiences and feelings. I hope you find freedom from this post. I think a lot of believers want so badly to live for God that we stress ourselves out when it comes to decision making. Ladies, there is freedom and there is grace in decision making. And let me tell you, experiencing God’s freedom and grace in dating is a beautiful gift from God. Thank God for this gift and enjoy dating.  https://joypedrow.com/
Dating site for Christian Singles who are looking for a Faith based Relationship

Christian Match   

https://www.christianmatch.co.za/

Tuesday, 12 March 2019

Christian Match - for Christian Dating in SA


Faith plays an important part in Dating for Christian Singles. Join our extensive database of members for FREE and find your Match made in Heaven!    https://www.christianmatch.co.za/

God will Be With You



Faith plays an important part in Dating for Christian Singles. Join our extensive database of members for FREE and find your Match made in Heaven!    https://www.christianmatch.co.za/

Friday, 8 March 2019

Christian Dating - Join Christian Match


Faith plays an important part in Dating for Christian Singles. Join our extensive database of members for FREE and find your Match made in Heaven!    https://www.christianmatch.co.za/

Thursday, 7 March 2019

5 Boundary Considerations when Christian Dating

With a devout focus on God's place in our daily lives - navigating modern Dating can be way more difficult than it used to be.  The place of faith and putting God in the right context are at times not so easy to put into perspective.

The reality is that Christian Singles who are interested in marriage and commitment require more Dating advice when it comes to potentially meeting and forming a relationship moving forward.

When you start dating a good looking guy, the attraction builds.  What do you do?  It's difficult to decide when passion is playing it's part.  It's important that you decide what your boundaries are before you go on the date.

1. Boundaries Around Your Emotional Intimacy

Dating can be precarious because you are more than friends but less than spouses and the status of your relationship can change at any moment because dating comes with limited commitment levels.  The more commitment there is the more emotional connectivity there should be.  Emotional bonds without commitment is what leads to broken hearts.  You should not share everything with your boyfriend or girlfriend because the highest levels of commitment are not yet there.  You should share what you need to share to accomplish the goals of dating and no more.

2.  You Should Have Boundaries Around Talking About Your Futures Together

Just like your emotions, planning for the future together in your Christian dating experience should coincide wit increased levels of commitment.  The more commitment the two of you make, the more it makes sense to talk about the future.  Conversations about emotional, future-centered topics need to happen once the relationship starts getting "medium" to "very" on the serious scale.  But if you are in the "not that serious" zone and you are talking about how the two of you are going to divide up the holidays with your families once you get married 10 years from now, you are playing with fire.

3.  Boundaries Around Your Expectations In Christian Dating Will Help Your Heart Stay Healthy

One of the fun parts about dating is the hope it often brings.  Hope is a joyful expectation of something good.  While our hope should ultimately be in Jesus Christ, there should be healthy levels of hope for a dating relationship to progress into marriage.  If there is no hope in a dating relationship, why would you be in it?  It brings immense joy when two people date and then have their "desire fulfilled" if they decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together.  But on the flip side, the unfulfilled hope of a dating relationship turning into a breakup rather than a marriage can make a heart sick.  You should put boundaries around your expectations and hopes in your Christian dating relationship.  Don't rush in with astronomically high hopes.  Ask God to give you healthy and realistic levels.  To guard your heart, you need to make sure your levels of hope are appropriate for the season your Christian Dating Relationship is actually in.

4.  Boundaries Around Your Sexuality in Christian Dating Are a Must

This one should be high on your list of Christian dating boundaries.  Sexual boundaries are what most people think of first because it's probably the easiest temptation to fall into.  How far is too far?  What are you allowed to do in dating?  Is kissing okay?  What about spooning?  So the Bible does not give us a list of sexual boundaries we are not to cross in Christian dating.  Rather, again, it gives us two big categories we are to stay within:
  • Sexual experiences away from your spouse are sin.
  • Sexual experiences with your spouse are good.

5.  In Christian Dating You Need Boundaries for Your Words and Promises

One thing that's just too important not to mention is boundaries for your words and promises.  When Christians abstain from sexual sin, the desire to connect through words is going to be even more intense.  But just like the rest of these categories, you must balance your commitment levels with the levels you are connecting at.  Guard what you say if you want to guard your heart.  Don't tell someone you love them and then not commit to them.  Of course there are different levels to love.  But if you say "I love you" to someone you are romantically involved with, you are going to awaken all kinds of things that should really only be awakened for those intending to marry.

These are some boundaries to consider in Christian Dating.

Visit https://www.christianmatch.co.za/ for Christians looking for a Faith based relationship.


Wednesday, 22 March 2017

How to Practice Trust Effectively

 Trust is what allows us to believe in ourselves, in others, and in situations. When put into action, it looks like our being confident and knowing that all will be okay no matter what. Liberator of the constraints of our fears and anxiety, from a trusting place, we feel spacious, light, and more open to not knowing the answer, or okay with not being sure of what the exact outcome is going to be.
As a potent antidote to the stress and overwhelm so many of us feel today, there is no greater practice than to practice trust. By continuing to do a specific activity again and again in order to deepen our understanding and strengthen our skills and fluency of that very action.

 CLICK HERE FOR CHRISTIAN DATING

 The most opportune time to begin practicing trust is in the very moment you feel your confidence wane, and your anxiety rise diminishing your belief in yourself, or in another, or in the likelihood of an outcome you were hoping and wishing for.
We all know when we start heading down this rabbit hole of hopelessness and defeat to that dark place where pessimism trumps optimism. In this familiar scenario, we become our own worst enemies by convincing ourselves that nothing good could possibly happen. Most notably, we do this even after spending significant periods of time being so confident, hopeful, and positive. 

The most wonderful and powerful quality of trust is that we can keep growing and strengthening it within ourselves even after it feels like we have lost it completely. This growth-strengthening quality is what makes practicing trust so positive and rewarding. So before you go completely down that rabbit hole, use the following steps to start practicing trust again, and again, and again!

Step 1)
NOTICE: (as best you can) when you are feeling despair and disbelief in yourself, or in another, or in a desired outcome of a situation.


STEP 2)
STAND BACK: get some distance be it physical, or mental. Physical distance looks like literally moving away from the situation. Take a break, a walk, call a friend (but don’t talk about your despair!) Mental distance means ceasing all thoughts of what’s going on. Change your thoughts but first mark your transitioning into having new ones with breath. Take deep inhalations followed by big exhalations. Do this at least 3 times! Then with a clearer mind allow yourself to experience other thoughts apart from any negative doubting ones. Not always easy but you can do it!


STEP 3)
RETURN:Here is where you re-engage yourself to your original despair but in an empowering way. You do this by telling yourself: “I can’t believe I am allowing myself to go down the rabbit hole of despair. As hard as things seem right now, I do not want to choose despair even though I honestly am afraid things are not going to work, or that I can’t do what I said I wanted, or I won’t receive what I asked for….”


STEP 4)
CHOOSE- Here is the final part in which you tell yourself: “I am not choosing despair. I am not choosing to be cynical. I am choosing instead to practice trust in this moment by trusting that what I want, what I need, what I hope for, will and can unfold. I am choosing to accept that anything right now is possible and to be in the possibility that what I want, need, and wish for will prevail in the ways that I can imagine, and also in ways that I could never have imagined. I am willing to trust and be open here and right now.” Then, take a big inhalation followed by a strong exhalation 3 times to complete this final step.


After doing these 4 steps you will most probably notice a positive shift. And while this change might be small, and not have brought you back completely to a more comfortable zone of optimism and confidence, keep building upon the positive here.Keep going-Practice again and again: Notice, Stand Back, Return, and Choose. Make this your mantra

 CLICK HERE FOR CHRISTIAN DATING