Saturday, 30 July 2016

Does Age Matter In Relationships?


When it comes to relationships, there is an old saying that goes, “age is mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” What is basically being said there is that age really doesn’t have any bearing on a relationship unless you choose to make it one. That seems like a perfectly plausible argument, yet there are still plenty of people out there that just don’t think that people who are years apart can ever be in a relationship that will last. My feeling is that it really does all depend on the two people who are in the relationship, as it is their dynamic that will ultimately make their union succeed or fail.

Age differences in relationships are a funny thing that seems to become less important with the passing of time. For example, a 10 year age difference doesn’t seem that big a deal when one of the people is 50 and the other one is 40. Roll those ages back to 28 and 18, and you begin to get people questioning the validity of that relationship. There are those that would look at the latter of those two age pairings and question what the 28 year old was up to. Some would even look at the older of the two in a way that was less than favorable, almost with the feeling that they must somehow be taking advantage of the younger person.

The fact is that none of us should really get to judge a relationship based solely on the ages of the two people involved in it. Just because we don’t think that we could relate to someone much younger than ourselves, doesn’t mean that another person can’t. It’s also a little arrogant and foolish to believe that someone who is younger doesn’t have the maturity to be involved with someone who is older than they are. There are some 20 year olds that have their heads on better than people twice their age, yet there is still the feeling that they must still somehow be emotionally stunted at that age.

You would think that by now we would all have become somewhat desensitized to relationships that involve big age gaps, especially since we are subjected to them on a daily basis on TV and in the movies. It’s almost become the norm now that the leading man in any show has to have a partner who is a lot less younger than he, whilst also usually being way out of his league. Yes, this should desensitize us all, but what it really seems to do is add fuel to the fire for those who see that sort of age difference as some sort of abomination.

It doesn’t really help when what we see on film spills over into real life. There have now been numerous instances of a much younger person “falling in love” with someone far older than they. The intentions of those folks are usually questioned, if only because the person they choose to fall for usually has millions in the bank and is on their last legs. It certainly doesn’t help the cause of those who believe that love can ignite between two people, regardless of age, but that is like saying that all marriages are a sham because so many now end in divorce.


There are plenty of couples out there who are far apart in years, but whose souls were somehow meant to be together. The problem is that we seldom get to see or hear about these couples, as it’s only the bad ones that get the spotlight on them as an example of how relationships like that work. We really don’t have any business poking our noses in and passing judgment on relationships that have a big age difference. We know nothing about what those folks truly feel for each other, and at the end of the day, all that really does matter is how they feel.

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